The "can you roll over" game!
Now that Nicklas is almost four months old, I'm struggling with trying to fit him into a "schedule", whatever that means. I'm such a schedule-oriented person that I can't stand not knowing when he'll need to eat, sleep, poop, etc. Roughly, he eats every three hours, naps three to four times a day and goes to bed anytime between 7pm and 9pm, waking up anywhere from 6am to 8am. Some people might say that I have him on a schedule, but all these things happen at different times every day and different ways. Sometimes he doesn't want to eat when I think he does and won't nap when I want him to, etc, and it drives me crazy! Am I alone on this?
Sometimes I think that I should throw "what the book says" out the window and just let him do what he wants when he wants to. He's much happier that way...and I hate to say it, but he spends so much time being unhappy that I'll do anything to keep him from crying nowadays. Am I spoiling him? Does it make me a bad mom to let him do this? Or is he too young for me to even worry about this stuff? Sometimes I get so frustrated (and so does Robert) that I'm sure that I've made a mistake trying to be a mommy, even though I love my boy so much it hurts. I was not made to be the stay-at-home mom, and those precious days when I go into work feel like a vacation. And when I come home, my time with Nicklas is even sweeter and more special. I just worry so much that he's being fussy with whoever is taking care of him (be it my mom or Robert) that I almost can't enjoy myself being out of the house. I feel as though if he's fussy, than I should be the one to deal with it.
I envy all of you out there with so-called "easy babies". You know, those who never cry and nap on demand. Oh, I know you're out there, because you've told me all about it. I'm thinking God is giving me the challenge now because Nicklas will grow up to be an angel child...here's hoping!
1 comment:
I'm so sorry - sounds like there are a few things giving you guys a hard time right now. First, let me say this: there are NO EASY BABIES. I'm willing to venture a guess that most people who told you they have easy babies told you that when their precious little one was about 9 months old or older. By then, they've forgotten those days when all the baby did was cry. And cry, and cry, and eat a little, then throw up and cry some more, and skip their afternoon nap...to cry.
Yes, some children are more easy going than others. Rachael is MUCH more easy going than Mac ever was, but goodness, she's still a crier! Especially now that she's on food (finally), at least 1 food-meal out of 3 every single day, she absolutely REFUSES to take her thumb out of her mouth so I can stick the spoon in it. If I pop her thumb out, she starts screaming. (Yes, I shamelessly thrust a spoonful of sweet potatoes in there while her mouth is wide open.) And since she's crawling, if she's having a fussy day or I'm busy doing something for Mac, there are times when she will just crawl around the house looking for me, whimpering and whining, and sometimes outright bawling. Don't get me wrong, she's a sweetheart. Most of the time on most days she just smiles, laughs, and plays contentedly with whatever you give her, wherever she is. She's definitely what I would consider a "laid-back" baby, but that doesn't mean we don't have our hard days.
About the schedule thing, there are so many opinions. I have a friend - several, actually - who are super-strict BabyWise parents. While I can't see myself doing something like that, it works for them. Maybe that would help you, your mom, and Robert to know what to expect out of him. Also, it might help Nicklas to be less fussy. Some babies positively thrive on that kind of schedule, taking the same exact number of naps, each the same in length, every single day. The only thing I would like to caution you about that kind of routine is that it would be very easy to get too wrapped up in it and freak out if there's a traffic jam on the way home from the grocery store one day and you can't put him down for his morning nap at the exact time.
What we do for routine and schedule is basically adherent to "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. Wonderful book; I absolutely can't recommend it highly enough. Above all, it fits me better, because it allows for a bit more flexibility.
Also, for what it's worth, I used to be wound pretty tight. Super type A. Super in control. Had to plan everything, know everything, be in charge of everything, and if I wasn't in charge of something I wanted written and notarized warning of what would happen at least 48 hours in advance.
Then I had Mac. And we had breastfeeding problems, then formula problems, then reflux problems. And colic all the while. I'm pretty sure that he cried and threw up all day, every day, for about 5 months; then again, he threw up all day every day until he was 10 or 11 months old, maybe; I can't say for absolute sure, because it's mostly just a blur of the sweet moments now. (Thank God for parental amnesia.) I think having a hard baby for my first baby helped me to relax so much, and I'm really grateful for it. I'm still neat and organized, keep the house straight and clean, and I still like to know what's going on; I try to feed them lunch consecutively so I can plan to put them both down together for their afternoon nap so I can have a few quiet moments, and have them in bed between 7:30 and 8 at the latest. BUT...that doesn't always happen exactly like I want it to. And now, it's a whole lot easier for me to just shrug it off and say "c'est la vie" than it used to be.
I know it's hard now. It gets better and harder, all at the same time. Sorry we missed you yesterday!
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